I Don’t Feel Safe Here Anymore

safe

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be the first female President. I was probably ten at the time and felt strongly about equality. My community and family gave me the gift of knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that girls like me had every right to do anything they wanted to do in life. I felt safe, protected, and empowered. In fact, I was a bit sad that I had to wait until I was 35 to become president. Surely another woman would beat me to the nation’s top office by the time I could legally run for President?

A few years ago, I turned 35 and I laughed to myself as I thought about the little girl I once was who wanted to be President. I now realize how terribly difficult the job is and how grueling our election cycles are. I no longer want the job but I am bewildered by one question: how on Earth have we not yet elected a female President?

“How on Earth have we not yet elected a female President?”

I’ve spent my entire career in tech, climbing the corporate ladder as high as I could. I ended up in a Vice President role, in charge of the largest team at our company, over half of our staff. I absolutely love mentoring women who want to do the same. In my role as Lecturer at UW-Madison more women come to my office hours than men and they want to know how I managed to navigate my career. I never once thought that the patriarchy wasn’t being smashed quickly, one piece at a time, until I turned 35, we didn’t have a female President, and I realized we still had a ways to go.

Let’s Talk About Double Standards

Then Roe v. Wade was overturned in 2022 and my optimistic outlook on women’s rights melted into a dark, sinking hole. In Roe v. Wade’s place, a patchwork of laws, some hundreds of years old, now dictated the type of care women could get at their local hospitals. We can debate personhood and morality until we’re blue in the face, but having a child is the biggest decision any woman will make. It ties her down for 18+ years, slows her career, stresses her out, and ends marriages. In an overpopulated world that’s already feeling the effects of global climate change on a massive scale, the last thing we need is more people. And women are dying because their doctors are legally incapable of making quick life or death decisions. There are no such restrictions on men.

The Stress is Killing Us

My husband and I took a trip to Lanesboro, Minnesota weeks after a 1849 law went into effect in Wisconsin stating that if a pregnant woman’s life was in danger (due to rape, incest, or consensual relationship — doesn’t matter), the doctor first had to go FIND ANOTHER DOCTOR, debate them about whether the woman’s life was in danger and THEN do something about it. When we crossed over the Minnesota border, I felt a huge weight lift from my shoulders. Abortion was a protected right here. Women’s lives and choices were valued here. No questions asked. I felt a wave of stress leave my body. I had no idea how hard on me this was until I crossed a made-up border into another state. It’s not about abortion, it’s about control and living the life we, as women, want.

Continuous stress on vulnerable populations such as minorities and women leads to shorter lifespans. I had no idea I was living under a layer of stress until I wasn’t anymore. Even though I’m done having kids, my life still seems to be under attack. And apparently I feel that subconsciously every day.

It’s the Patriarchy, Silly

But this abortion nonsense isn’t about morality, really. Have you read any parts of Project 2025, a plan that Trump was trying to distance himself from, but which was written by many members of his former government? It’s basically a religious manifesto aimed at keeping women at home and returning family structures to two heterosexual parents with kids. The repeal of Roe v. Wade and Project 2025 are about the conservative, religious agenda trying to tie women down. This is the patriarchy calling, and they want their jobs, their superiority, and their hot meals when they get home each night back.

This is the patriarchy calling, and they want their jobs, their superiority, and their hot meals when they get home each night back.

When Roe v. Wade was repealed, I had four pre-teens in the house. Three of them girls. I didn’t need to worry about myself, but damned if I was going to raise three girls through puberty knowing that one bad decision could ruin their lives — or worse, kill them. And then the talk of getting rid of birth control, the IVF issues, and the backlash against trans teens. What the heck is going on?

I don’t feel like my rights are being considered in much of our current legislation. I see signs that these movements are empowering men to continue to discriminate against women and minorities. They are getting more bold. Just look at what happened at my former company when they went to hire a new CFO and CEO (Spoiler alert: they hired their white male friends without interviewing anyone else). One of the things Project 2025 wants to get rid of is companies keeping any sorts of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion statistics. What’s the old saying? You can’t improve things you don’t measure. Right, they know that. That’s why they want to get rid of those stats.

Kids Aren’t Safe In Schools

It’s not just my career and rights that I feel are under attack. It’s my children. Earlier this year, 20 minutes from my house in the small town of Mt. Horeb, a shooter showed up at their middle school. A well-trained resource officer killed the student, a 14-year-old boy and stopped a tragedy-in-the-making. 20 MINUTES FROM OUR HOUSE!

Now that Trump is elected and the Republicans are in charge likely both houses, do you think we’re going to make any headway in thwarting future shootings? I honestly think there may be a 50-50 chance that something will happen in one of my kids’ schools. As a country, we’re not dealing with the underlying mental health issues leading to so many shootings. And we’re certainly not dealing with the shootings themselves. There have been 425 mass shootings in the United States in 2024 so far. I don’t feel like my family is safe here anymore.

We’re Done Here

I saw this election as our country’s second chance. Fool me once, shame on you, but fool me twice? In the words of former President George W. Bush, “you can’t, you can’t get fooled again”. I see the writing on the walls. Almost half the country wants to see the same changes I do. But half a country ignores the fact that our former President raped a women. They will ignore his 34 felonies and believe his lies. In the name of religion, white power, and the economy, they put a white man who is hardly qualified back into office over a black woman who might be over-qualified. But, that’s par for the course if you’re a women. We have to try twice as hard for half the credit.

But, that’s par for the course if you’re a women. We have to try twice as hard for half the credit.

We (our country) have voted again and again to line our own pockets with tax cuts instead of help each other bear the burden of healthcare when we need it, educate our kids, and just fucking care about our neighbors for one goddamn second in our lives.

A bunch of white men who wanted to pay fewer taxes created our country. Why should we be surprised when those in charge continue to focus on money? I want to live in a country that focuses on its people, a place that makes it easy for me not only to afford the essentials in life, but also stay healthy and happy. I want to spend time with my loved ones and know that when I hug my kids in the morning, they will come back safe on the bus in the afternoon. Apparently that’s too much to ask. I don’t feel safe here anymore.

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