Give Yourself the Gift of Saying “No” This Christmas

Last year at this time, we were weeks away from a two-week family Christmas trip to New Zealand. This was the trip of a lifetime and in order to pull it off, I found myself saying “no” to a lot of traditional Christmas tasks. I thought the world might implode if I didn’t embrace these traditions — traditions I’d carried on for years and years without asking whether they were still serving me. But it didn’t. Instead, I found that Christmas (despite leaving the country for two weeks with four kids) got a lot less stressful. Here’s what I said no to (or adjusted) and what I think is worth considering this holiday.

Christmas Shopping

Because we were traveling for Christmas, we didn’t have space to bring a bunch of gifts. So, instead of shopping for traditional gifts, we bought all of the kids experience gifts. Here’s how it worked.

I compiled a list of fun things to do in New Zealand. That list included things like specific hikes, ziplining, zorbing, swimming with dolphins, kayaking with glowworms, and seeing Hobbiton. Seriously, there are so many cool things to do in New Zealand, it’s really hard to pick! I made a powerpoint deck with all of the options and presented them to the kids. They each got to pick one fun thing to do and everyone else was welcome to come along (but didn’t have to – bungy jumping was on the list and I would have said no to that). That was their big Christmas present for the year.

The idea turned out to be an amazing success! We all got to experience something new and different and no one had to drag around a physical present for the rest of the trip — only souvenirs!

I did do a little bit of Christmas shopping for extended family, but with the upcoming trip, I did it early. Thanks to our greedy, consumerist stores in the United States, Black Friday is getting extended all the way to the beginning of November so I didn’t even miss any deals! Getting that shopping out of the way really took a load off too.

Holiday Cards

I wanted to include pictures from New Zealand in our holiday card, so I decided to simply postpone our Christmas cards this year and create a New Year’s card instead. The best part about this is that unlike a holiday card that you’d really like to get out by the end of the year, no one expects the New Year’s card. So there really are no deadlines. Take your sweet time getting it out and delight your friends when they get something special in the mail in February or March!

Christmas Cookies

Oh, Christmas Cookies! This was the biggest revelation of the year for me. I create Christmas Cookies (using my mom’s traditional recipe which takes three days depending on how many you make) every single year for two reasons:

1. To make memories with the kids.
2. Because I’m on auto-pilot.

So last year, we just said no to Christmas Cookies. There was no time! And I LOVED it! Skipping cookies alone saved me an amazing amount of stress.

But my kids? They missed the tradition. And I got to hear about it all year. So, this year, I asked if anyone would like to be in charge of the cookies. That meant making the dough, leading the cut-out project, leading the decorating, and making sure everything gets cleaned up. I didn’t want to have to deal with it at all. I would provide the materials and some support, but I was not going to lead it this year.

But my kids? They missed the tradition. And I got to hear about it all year.

My youngest, Maddie, who has been my unofficial sous chef for dinner most nights lately, volunteered. And we had a blast making ONE BATCH (not two or three) of our traditional cookies.

Decorating

Another task we did almost none of last year was decorating. We typically have two Christmas trees and a bunch of outdoor lights up. Last year we did a single Christmas tree in the window and that was it. This year, we kept the one Christmas tree tradition and added a few low-key lights outside. We changed out our outdoor bulbs for red and green ones, we put up some freestanding lighted trees and a couple of snowflakes. Et voilà! Easy Christmas decorating!

Hosting

Since we were gone, we, of course, couldn’t host or go to any Christmas celebrations. We missed out on seeing my sister while she was in town, but we found other times to see our parents and friends. I don’t think any of us regretted the trip. It was an amazing time. (Side note: I highly encourage you to check out my series of New Zealand blog posts from last year.) We had a blast!

Reduce Your Stress

So, as you become stressed out thinking about the holidays this year, ask yourself, “If I were going to New Zealand over Christmas what would I change?” And then make those changes now (or write yourself a note to start next year if it’s too late).